Michèle’s Story
“There and Back Again!” As someone who wants to live an honest and spiritual life, conscious eating incorporating juice feasting together with raw and living foods embody and contribute to my journey. This approach is central to the holistic wellbeing of anyone who adopts it. Conscious eating not only provides the opportunity to invest in pure food choices: honest, fresh, organic, living, complete and unaltered, it nourishes and feeds us on every level. There is so much life in living foods and so much to gain by adopting conscious eating practices. Awareness of how, what, when and why we are eating together with an increase in the quantity of living food in any diet will have multiple benefits. Visit the Conscious Cuisine Training Kitchen™ to find out more. I want to support others to adopt this approach at the level that is right for them so they can directly experience the benefits first-hand. I believe in and am passionate about eating consciously and strongly regard it as an individual choice and journey. I have personally experienced the highs and lows of changing my own eating habits over many years and have a desire to share my knowledge and experience to the benefit of others. However, I do not believe that one size fits all as there are so many factors to consider! I continue to expand my education and development because I deem this to be a life long journey. My life is not static, it is always in motion, and I want to continue moving forward. I want to be the best me possible. I want to live on purpose! I am dedicated to offering qualified professional expertise together with personal experience to support people to move forward in their life. My deepest desire is to empower others to reach their potential using conscious living principles. Therefore, I can make my greatest contribution at this time in my role as The Conscious Living Practitioner™. During the past 25 years I have spent precious time trying to master my body and myself in some form or another through exercise, diet, continuous professional and personal development and more recently and consciously through meditation and introducing juice feasting, raw gourmet and living foods into my diet. My vast knowledge and experience in all factors relating to holistic health have significantly influenced my journey and have continuously inspired me personally and professionally. Having initially struggled to overcome and replace the negative behaviour’s and beliefs established in my early childhood, I continue to peel away the layers, much like a snake sheds its old skin. As I release the toxins from every level of my life I feel more joyful, I have greater clarity and my capacity to live on purpose with conscious awareness is magnified! I have chosen to share aspects of my life history and recent body transformation as I believe that disclosing aspects of my story, my very real experience, might inspire you the reader to adopt a conscious approach to your life. There and back again captures my journey from fitness and health to obesity and how I finally reclaimed my body and myself to create optimum health using conscious eating principles. My personal Account
I am aware of several incidents which have, on reflection, contributed to my body experience and subsequently my relationship with food. The earliest (regressed) memory I have is six months prior to my birth, in utero when I was on the receiving end of a kick. I came into the world knowing I had to protect myself; I had to protect my body. As I sit here now, reflecting on this early initiation I can finally appreciate the deep seated nature of my relationship with my body and my ability to disconnect. The awareness and significance of this knowledge has been crucial to my capacity to move forward: letting go of old worn out behaviours, eating patterns and beliefs associated with my body, related to food and consequently my whole being. However, this personal journey continues as I peel back another layer and work to release all that is no longer relevant in my life.
Puppy Fat
At the age of 11 our house had a major fire and we lost all our possessions. We were limited to a few rooms and had to access toilet facilities from the petrol station outside. People from the village donated clothes and necessities which I will always be grateful for. My parents’ relationship was not a happy one for many years and it eventually broke down and they subsequently divorced after 23 years of marriage. At the time this was unheard of. Left home at 18 During one of my holidays from University aged 20 I taught dance classes in the local community which I loved.
I spent my final summer teaching at a children’s summer camp in Torrington, New England in the USA. (This was my 3rd summer there and during this time I was offered a job as a full-time gymnastic coach for a well known New York school. However, my visa ran out before my green card could be secured and I had to return home). I choreographed various musicals and taught creative dance as well as living with the youngest children in a wooden chalet. I absolutely loved my time there and will always cherish it. I know that I was guided there. I was fortunate to live with the owners of the camp for 6 months post camp and pass my driving test. I had so many amazing blessings bestowed upon me, I will always treasure them. Subsequently, upon my return, four of my former friends/acquaintances and I auditioned for a teaching position and professional performing contract with the Education Unit of the Scottish Ballet and I was offered the job!!! First Professional Job: Teacher and Performer with The Scottish Ballet During my 2 years with the Company I taught thousands of children and teachers and became an authority in working with people with special needs and their
Studying in Philadelphia & Washington D.C – Masters Degree in Movement Psychotherapy During my first year I lived in a 2 bed apartment with 2 medical students. I slept on a day bed in the lounge which I was more than happy to do. I had 2 placements working with psychiatric adult clients in a mental health facility and suicidal adolescents in a residential school program. I had the opportunity to engage in medical practices during this unique experience and had so many fantastic teachers. I finally felt like I had ‘come home’, that I had found my calling. Everything made sense to me and I finally understood the psychology of people. I had answers to many questions that I had been carrying forever, or so it seemed. I was able to integrate my love of dance and people using therapeutic tools to enhance the quality of life of other people. I could finally make a difference; I could connect with people on the deepest level! It was also possible to explore my own life openly and honestly in a safe and loving environment. This opportunity enabled me to let go of so much ‘baggage’ and helped me to understand myself and others more fully. I seemed to blossom and grow in confidence so rapidly during this first year. I remember this time with great affection and as one of the pinnacle times in my life. In my second year I was fortunate to secure one of two exclusive paid internships at St Elizabeth’s Psychiatric Hospital (the largest in the world at that time) and be supervised by Judith Bunney a former student of Marian Chase the pioneer of dance therapy. During this time I was the principal therapist for three groups: psychiatric adult clients in a community residential program, in-patient geriatric clients and adult males in a maximum security unit of a forensic hospital. I learned a great deal from my clients and it was such a privilege to work with them all. Graduated and Married Having graduated, I returned to England and set up home with my then husband to be. We were married a year later. When I arrived home there was a recession and attaining a full-time job proved difficult. It took me 7 months before I finally found employment as a senior group worker and Supervisor at a Drug Rehabilitation Centre. I loved my job, in particular working with the 40 residents and small staff team. However, this all came to an abrupt end 3.5 years later when new ways of working were introduced and the whole staff team were made redundant. The redundancy was very stressful due to the way it was handled and I found it increasingly difficult to find new employment (I was deemed overqualified!) I put on weight during this time, resorting to comfort eating due to my increasing frustration and boredom. I finally took action and changed my diet to what was then considered healthy – pasta, rice, salad and fish. I undertook and achieved qualifications in every aspect of fitness at this time: Personal Training; Instructor training: Aerobics, Weights, Slide, Juniors, Advanced Step, Be Fit Program as well as becoming a National Tutor for The Aerobics Organisation of Great Britain. Set up Chèleshock Holistic Health Business
Weight Fluctuation
My post as a Senior Health Promotion Specialist held a remit for Mental Health, Workplace health and Special Needs. My role expanded and developed throughout my 6 year tenure and during the 2 latter years I added Organisational Development and Change Management to my repertoire. I designed and delivered numerous workshops, training courses and conferences which promoted aspects of physical, emotional, mental and spiritual wellbeing. I went for a principal senior position and substantial promotion with another NHS based organisation as an Organisational Design Facilitator. This role involved providing individual and team facilitation, training and strategic advice in relation to major organisational change and management development initiatives. I was successful! Unfortunately, I only had been established in my role for 2 years when I was made redundant and the circumstances surrounding this process were extremely distressing.
Travel to India Full-time Doctoral Student However, I had totally misjudged my finances and eventually ran out of money which resulted in me moving in with my Mum and Step Dad which was to prove challenging on numerous levels. At this time I was also trying to complete and launch my new business website (the first of three) despite having limited internet access – this proved impossible. Meanwhile my weight began to increase, my self esteem decreased and generally I felt pretty low. I was away from my familiar support network, my own personal environment, was earning no money as well as dealing with the aftermath of redundancy and its surrounding circumstances. I didn’t feel good about myself or what wasn’t happening in my life! I felt as if I was stuck in a very deep, dark hole.
Return to My House It is at this point that I leave my story as I am about to launch my new business and many exciting adventures are on the horizon... Personal Trauma and Emotional Eating There have been several significant events that I believe have greatly contributed to the relationship I developed with my body and with food, although the full impact of these events only came to light in more recent years. Although I have shared some of them above there are others that I have chosen not to. I list them here without detail since they have had an impact on my healing process and taught me a great deal: child sexual abuse, witnessing violence, family related suicide and alcoholism, divorcing after 9 years of marriage, miscarriage, depression, stress related psoriasis, mild alopecia, workplace bullying, redundancy, deaths in the family, financial crisis and obesity. (I do believe that all that I have experienced has taught me so much which I now use in my role as The Conscious Living Practitioner™ and contribute to the person I am today! I am grateful for all my learning and experiences.) Conversely, it has no doubt become apparent that my weight has fluctuated throughout my life, usually in response to a major traumatic event or situation. Many times I was able to get myself back in shape by increasing my exercise regime. However, as outlined above I stopped teaching fitness classes while I was going through my lengthy and painful divorce, and the weight piled on. When I went to the USA to train as an Associate raw food chef and instructor at living light I lost at least 14lbs during my four weeks. For a couple of years I carried in excess of 21lbs which continuously fluctuated. The worst was yet to come! The final straw came when I experienced bullying, was made redundant, my father died and I hit financial crisis all within an 18 month period! Then my weight escalated to 14 stone 13lbs (209lbs). I was a UK size 18 and obese, just writing those words reminds me of the shame, guilt and failure I felt on a daily basis! How could I and how did I allow myself to get so out of control? Why did I sabotage myself in this way? My answers to these questions has involved a lot of soul searching and that journey has contributed to the philosophy that underpins all that I offer in my role as The Conscious Living Practitioner™. Incredibly, or not I was treated very differently as my slim self in comparison to my obese self. People unknown to me would respond from their first impressions which shouldn’t come as a surprise with all the study I have done on psychology and non-verbal communication. However, when people lose weight in response to a trauma in their life those around them appear to have much more compassion in contrast to when someone gains weight. I have to admit I was probably my worst critic; all my demons raised their jagged edges and knew how to crush my self esteem. Re-establishing my health & reclaiming my body I can finally say in all honesty that I love myself – I love all of me which is great because I know I couldn’t have said those words in the past despite my fit body and healthy weight! The Universe has been preparing me and waiting. I am at long last able to accept and acknowledge what has at times been too painful; I am able to face myself. I realise now how often I have stuffed down my emotions (despite my awareness and understanding) in a bid to survive what has appeared overwhelming and unbearable. I have put myself, my feelings and my needs last in a bid to survive (or so it seemed). I have ignored my intuition and somehow punished myself by mirroring what I witnessed as a child. I have repeated a learned behaviour pattern over and over again because I have not fully understood or acknowledged the ingrained nature or impact of those early foundations. It took time to gain awareness and to become conscious – it took time to admit full responsibility for me, myself and I. I now get it! – That is, the significance of putting myself, my feelings, and my needs first, it is up to me to take full responsibility for myself: to be accountable for my choices, my actions and my reactions! This is not a new insight, or revelation, however, the enormity of being conscious of and accountable to me, myself for how I am in the world on every level is! Aligning my vibration with my true self is something only I can do - no one else. I have often been able to state these words and perhaps at times felt them. Now I own them on every level. By truly loving myself I am able to recognise and love the God within me, the diamond at my very core. I am finally able to undertake and embrace my life purpose and move forward on every level. By making the choice to love myself and finally face the truth, I have been able to work through and release my life ‘traumas.’ I have learned the true meaning of unconditional love; I practice compassion for myself and others at a deep level as well as embracing the healing process in the truest sense of the word. What a great gift! Where Does Conscious Living Fit In? Daily Meditation, reflection and self awareness enable me to continually examine my belief systems and values. As a unique being I need to find my individual optimal life and health plan according to the truths of my personal body, mind and spirit. By adopting a Conscious Lifestyle I can create, support and sustain a balanced life. I am working towards consciousness in all that I think, do and say to myself and in my everyday food choices and actions. I want to live in balance and joy in every moment and I know that living consciously and putting me first are fundamental to this process. As I said, the journey never ends – it is ongoing. My body has become intolerant to wheat, dairy, yeast and refined sugar. I am working with my body to create balance on all levels - to nurture myself from the inside out. I am eating consciously, I choose a conscious lifestyle and I am evolving into the best me ever. In the coming weeks I will share my transformational photographs with you as one chapter of my life comes to an end and a new one is about to begin…. Thank you for taking the time to read my story. If you can relate to anything I have said or have any comments to make please don’t hesitate to contact me by sending an email to michele@theconsciouslivingpractitioner.com Links to Information about Michèle Click any of the buttons below to gain immediate access to information about Michèle’s personal and professional background.
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“There and back again!” is a personal account of Michèle’s experience of her body: from puppy fat in her childhood to model, dancer and elite fitness expert in her early 20’s and 30’s, to obesity and out of condition during her late 30’s and early 40’s and finally achieving ideal weight and fitness at 45! Read her candid, heartfelt and moving story below accompanied by the associated photographs from different chapters of her life.
Early Childhood
I moved house at the age of 7 with my parents and my 2 sisters (my brother was born about a year later) from a house in a small town, to a large country cottage within what was then a fairly small village. We were brought up on traditional home cooking: broth, stews, fried food, home baking etc. Mum knew how to make things go a long way and most things were done on a tight budget. We were brought up to finish all that was on our plates and dessert or pudding was served only after our main course dish was empty. Fruit and vegetables were not a main staple although were present in our diet. 
Also worthy of note in this condensed story is that from the age of 7 my parents fostered hundreds of children of all ages and backgrounds as well as various adults with special needs over a ten year period, and I was often placed in a position of responsibility. 
I went on to complete a Postgraduate Teaching Certificate (11-18 year olds) in Dance & Theatre at Bedford College of Higher Education. I spent my teaching placements in Corby and London and although very different they both provided an amazing platform on which to learn key teaching skills. I was disappointed with the attitude of one of my placement teachers who was very judgemental of the children from difficult backgrounds. I made extra time for those children having been exposed to so much in my younger years. Being a teacher is a great responsibility and such a privileged position.
teachers. It was this latter passion which led to my decision to leave Steps Out. Some of the teachers inhibited the movement of their students because of their own low self esteem and fears. Although I had special skills in this area I wanted to further my expertise and understanding. I applied to study for a Masters Degree in Movement Psychotherapy.
Modelling and TV Work
I decided to set up my own holistic health business “Chèleshock Fitness”, and raised my profile as a National Presenter teaching as part of Lydia Campbell’s Fitcamp & Fit’n’Fun Team. I won an Award for my contribution to Mind/Body Fitness and briefly performed as a member of the Spin cycle team of Great Britain. 
I also maintained a private practice which involved working as a movement psychotherapist in a head injury rehabilitation centre; providing clinical supervision for a college counsellor and working part-time as a module leader at Westminster University in London. I maintained the latter 3 roles for several years after my employment status changed. In fact I still provide teaching in London on a part-time basis. 
Achieved Elite Fitness
Throughout my time in the fitness industry my weight fluctuated approximately 5-7 pounds however; as you can see in the photograph on the right I was pretty solid. Despite my growing business and rising popularity (one class attracted well over 100 participants on a weekly basis); I often felt out of place and certainly did not aspire to the ‘body/ego obsessed’ image that I began to increasingly observe and experience. 
Health Promotion in the NHS & Divorce
Researching Raw Food Courses
Meeting my Soul Mate
